IS WECONCILE FOR US

WeConcile is for couples that want restoration and success

In order for WeConcile to help your relationship, both you and your partner will need to embrace some specific ingredient:

• Desire – I desire to have a more connected and satisfying relationship

• Commitment – I am committed to my relationship and to improving it

• Effort – I am willing to put in effort to make my desire a reality

• Curiosity and self-reflection – I want to know myself and my partner better

• Time – I am willing to put in the time it takes to improve my relationship

Desire 
It all starts with desire.  If we desire something, and intend to make it a reality, then it can be done. Do you want a more harmonious and closer connection with your partner?  Actions speak louder than words.  If you are willing to put in the time and effort, and keep your mind open with curiosity and self reflection, then you have the ingredients needed.  

Commitment 
Commitment is a promise or an agreement.  Commitment means that each day you re-commit.  If you get off track, you say to yourself, I am starting again. Commitment means you hold to the promise even when it gets difficult.  

Effort 
Relationships are hard work. Whether you and your partner get no help at all, see a couples’ therapist regularly or decide to use WeConcile, it is always going to involve some ‘work.’  By work we mean effort: self-reflection, putting words around difficult to describe experiences and feelings, devoting energy and attention to deepen your understanding of yourself and your partner.  

Curiosity and self-reflection 
Curiosity is a strong desire to know or learn something – to look inside or self reflect, to wonder why your partner is having the experience he or she is.  Time and time again, our wounds will get activated and we may lose our sense of curiosity. It is imperative to find it again.  Why did I just get upset? Why did my partner? What are the deeper issues that are being activated within each of us? 

Self-reflection takes the understanding that looking at ourselves is an important endeavor.  When we realize that our present very much comes out of our past, it is easier to understand the importance of sorting through our history, how it has impacted us, and untangle what is going on now. Without curiosity and self-reflection, we cannot do this. 
  
Time 
WeConcile will take time. Change occurs both through new information allowing for insight and through repetition. Just as gaining a degree or starting a new business takes time, so does reconstructing a relationship and changing old patterns. You are asking to step into a new relational world.  It will take time to create this new reality.

While it is, at times, normal to question staying in your relationship when you are having a rough time, if you are really on the fence about staying in your relationship or are experiencing extreme relationship distress, WeConcile probably won't work for you without a clinician or counselor. It helps to have an objective third party who cares about your relationship on your team.  

It is important to be committed to working on your relationship, and not ready to walk out the door. And, you have at least a dream that repairing your relationship is possible. 

Change doesn’t happen in a closed system. Something new has to enter the system for change to occur. This means people struggling in their relationships will need to allow in something new. This could be a number of things. Couples Therapy, WeConcile, a book or workshop or something else. 

Whether you choose Couples therapy or WeConcile, sustaining a love that works is an ongoing process in all relationships.  It will be hard work.

• Getting to know yourself better – the impact of your history and your triggers

• Getting to know your partner better and understand their wounds

• Learning and practicing open and non-defensive communication

• Changing difficult behavioral cycles

• Cultivating vulnerability and nurturing

Like Couples Therapy, the purpose of WeConcile is to help you build your intimate relationship into one that is deeply healing, loving and satisfying. 

The WeConcile difference is that as a self-help program, it will cost you significantly less. WeConcile is time convenient. You don’t have to drive to an appointment or get childcare. You can learn on your schedule – not someone else’s. 

WeConcile’s learning is systemized. You will be guided through step-by-step learning with specific goals for each step. 

WeConcile is private. This is an advantage for those who feel uncomfortable with the process of sharing the issues of their most intimate and important relationship with another person. Depending on the therapy rates in your area, you get 3 - 10 months of relationship help for the price of one session with a therapist. 

It is not a shortcut. It will most likely be as much work as seeing a couples’ therapist.  It will take time, introspection, vulnerability, courage, and communication.  

The advantage of Couples counseling is that it can be very stabilizing to have a skilled therapist working with you. Self-study is not for everyone. For some, having a Couples counselor will make the challenges of improving your relationship easier. 

For other couples, using WeConcile while seeing a Couples therapist will offer the most learning and support. 

If you are dealing with extreme volatility, active affairs, untreated addiction or any physical or emotional abuse, we recommend that you find a well-trained couples therapist rather than using WeConcile. 

Whether you choose WeConcile, Couples therapy, or both, we hope your relationship becomes the relationship of your dreams.