The Challenges and Gifts of Growing Up in a Blended Family
In this conversation, Miette shares her experiences and insights about relationships, focusing on her long-distance relationship, trust issues stemming from her family background, and the complexities of blended families. She discusses her journey of self-discovery and emotional growth, emphasizing the importance of communication and emotional safety in her current relationship.
· There's always room to improve and learn about yourself and others.
· Long-distance relationships require open communication and trust.
· Trust issues can stem from past relationships and family dynamics.
· Being vulnerable in a relationship can be scary but necessary.
· Emotional safety is crucial for healthy communication in relationships.
· Understanding different perspectives helps in navigating complex family dynamics.
· It's important to recognize and address personal insecurities in relationships.
· Having supportive partners can aid in healing from past wounds.
· Analyzing relationships can lead to personal growth and self-awareness.
· Finding balance between independence and togetherness is key in relationships.
Chapters
00:00Navigating Relationships: A Young Adult's Perspective
12:31Trust Issues and Their Origins
22:08The Impact of Parenting on Relationship Dynamics
30:12Defining Future Relationship Goals and Emotional Safety
Transcript
(00:10)
Hello and welcome to the Yearning Heart Podcast. I'm Jennifer Lehr. I'm your host. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, an author, educator, and the founder of WeConcile which is a relationship reconstruction app. Our guest today is Miette.And we are gonna talk to her today about
what she's learning about relationships. She comes from a blended family and she talks a lot about the struggles and the specific challenges of coming from a blended family and wounds that left her with that she is working on repairing and what she yearns for in relationships and her journey and growth path.
I hope you enjoy the episode.
Jennifer (00:58)
So going to talk today about some of what Miette has learned in her watching relationships, in her own relationships, in her parents' relationships, what her growing edge is in relationships, she wants. so Miette, when I bring this up, where do your thoughts immediately go?
Miette (01:18)
I guess for me, I feel like I've constantly been trying to improve my intimate life, my way of looking at my friends' life and people around me and kind of pulling and subtracting different things that I like, make me feel uncomfortable, and just kind of analyzing everything. I feel like there's always room to improve and learn.
about yourself and others. And so for me, definitely, I know, it reminds me of like, kind of my journey and like, how I have come and how I hope slash am curious about how it'll continue. Yeah.
Jennifer (02:05)
Okay, so
are you in a relationship right now? And it's long distance? So how tell me about that? What's it like for you doing a long distance as a young person? You're what 22? 22 As a young person in a long distance relationship? What is that like for you?
Miette (02:09)
I am.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, in the past, this is my third relationship. in the past, my first relationship, we broke up because we didn't want to do long distance. Because that kind of, just, we didn't, at the time, didn't think it was going to work and we're up for that commitment. And I believe that was a good decision. And then now I've kind of...
Like going into last summer, I had realized that I was ready to try a relationship again and to see what it was like. And it started out, we were kind of just taking it as it went. And then when it came to me having to come to school, which is across the country, I kind of realized that
I wasn't ready to end the relationship and it was something that I wanted to keep pursuing. And definitely I had my fears and I think the biggest thing for me kind of ties into like watching my parents and my relationship with my parents. I have a tendency to have trust issues and so that was really the biggest thing for me. That was something that was holding me back and
make me worried because I didn't fully trust my partner and I think a lot of it came from past relationships with particularly males. So I think it was definitely scary but I was really interested in trying it and so we kind of we still have kind of decided to just take it as it comes and you know.
communicate and really just see how it's working for both of us and not putting any pressure or trying to stay open with each other. And I think I had to evacuate because of the two hurricanes that hit Florida. And in that time, I went home and I was there for about three weeks.
and I stayed with my partner and that was a really interesting and fun experience. It definitely, you we started our relationship in the summer and it was all kind of giddy, fun, like there wasn't, we didn't really need to do a whole lot of communicating we thought, because it was just working well. And then when I got back about two weeks in, I...
kind of started to realize my pet peeves about our relationship and just noticing little things that I didn't love. And I was kind of getting worried about continuing long distance. And so we did almost decide to break up because I was just like, I don't know if I can do it. And then...
We talked and that was really helpful and I realized that I just needed to learn how to kind of explain how I'm feeling fully. And that's something that, it's this whole relationship I've learned so much about myself and my habits. And it's been really nice.
Jennifer (05:54)
Well, it sounds like the relationship is a little bit of a mirror.
Miette (05:57)
Yeah, yeah, and it's kind of, it's sometimes annoying and then also really fun and interesting because...
Jennifer (06:06)
What's annoying for you?
Miette (06:09)
Well, it's,
it's kind of, we're very similar in a lot of ways. our growing up, we're both older siblings and just things we had to do and felt was our job. We're very similar. And that has made it so that we know when something's wrong and we can also read each other very well. So sometimes like when we are having our conversation about
how we wanted to go on with our relationship. I was kinda, I didn't realize it, but I was kinda sugarcoating things of like telling kind of a half truth of kind of being like, you know, like trying to make it all happy. And he was like, don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Like tell me what you actually want to say because that's what actually matters. And for me, I was like, I'm not doing that. And then I was like,
wait, I actually am. So it was kind of annoying in a way because like it's really helpful but it's also like, ugh, like you know what I'm thinking in a way and that sometimes I'm like, you're not supposed to. Yeah, yeah.
Jennifer (07:20)
Like you feel little uncovered maybe. Yeah.
you talked about trust issues a little bit ago and I'm wondering where that came from. I know both you and your boyfriend are from homes where there was divorce. And I'm sure that had an impact on you, on both of you. then of course, you know, our history follows us forward into wherever our life is. And I'm just wondering how...
Miette (07:37)
Mm-hmm.
Jennifer (07:47)
Your parents impacted your understanding of relationships, what you do and don't want, your sense of trust.
Miette (07:54)
Yeah, yeah, so my mother and father like are very polar opposites in a lot of ways, which has been a blessing and a curse. And a lot of my trust issues come from my father. And I think a big part is feeling like one that I'm not like good enough or like
I'm constantly trying to impress him to get his attention. And then also throughout my sister and I's childhood, he would promise us things and like say things that we would really wanted to do or thought sounded really fun. And then those would change. And then just, had a lot of...
relationships, like girlfriends who, you know, he had a habit of, or it was a pattern, he would be in a relationship for two to three years and then break up. And that really started to take a toll on me, especially just kind of having a second mother and then having her and then he'd be like, you know, everything's gonna be the same, like, we're just not in the same house.
and then she would leave and get married and have kids. So that was just kind of, yeah, so it was just kind of like feeling not thought about and getting what I needed and the support I needed. And so, and then that had continued throughout my dating and intimate life of choosing my first like...
Jennifer (09:16)
So.
Miette (09:39)
relationship, it wasn't like my boyfriend, but relationship with a guy. He was very similar to my dad of I felt like I wanted to constantly impress him and have, you know, he'd say things and then kind of go back on them. And it really, it was in a way addicting because there's that like, kind of like
golf where you're, you you don't get it in every time and the amount of time you want. But when you do, it's exhilarating. We're like lottery or something. And that's kind of how it was with that relationship.
Jennifer (10:15)
So it sounds like it makes you a bit that you've been left with an insecurity and then you try to, you make a connection happen. Like you really try. And if it doesn't happen, it's really disappointing. And if it does happen, you're elated so that it's a little bit of a roller coaster because you aren't grounded in I'm okay and I'm valuable just the way I am.
Miette (10:20)
Yes.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Jennifer (10:43)
because your father left some wounds on you, with you in some ways because his choices weren't necessarily good for you or didn't consider what your needs were.
Miette (10:46)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's something that I've actually only really recently, like this summer, realized kind of the full truth of that and started to kind of accept that because I've realized throughout the years that I am very much a person pleaser and will put
people I care about and love first and we'll do that at the cost of my own well-being and comfort. And so it's been really healing, but it's also been, you know, I'll see, it's sad to me because just noticing in the past, like since the summer, whenever I see like videos or TikToks or just
daughters with their dads of this like, like very engaged father and going out of his way. It's, it hurts to like know that I'll never have that experience. but it's also something that, you know, I can't change. I can't go back. I can only go forward. And I think moving forward and kind of
Jennifer (11:57)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Miette (12:12)
finding a way to heal myself in other ways of having that experience.
Jennifer (12:16)
huh.
Right, so it's had a big impact, but you are working on moving through it and into health and growth and good relationships. Yeah. Okay.
Miette (12:31)
Yeah. Yeah,
so, yeah, this relationship has definitely... Long distance is definitely hard. It's not something I'm a fan of. But it's also, I think, allowed me to really think with myself and kind of think about the things that I need in a relationship or about a relationship, but without having that full distraction of
Jennifer (12:42)
Right.
Miette (12:59)
the person. You know, I will FaceTime and talk, but they're not right there with you.
Jennifer (13:00)
Yeah.
Yes,
you won't lose yourself the same way, which is probably really good for you right now.
Miette (13:07)
Yeah, yeah, and so.
Yeah, and I think that's, it's definitely and it, it has been hard because in a lot of ways, you know, it's my senior year. And in some ways I'm like, am I missing out on kind of my last college experience of being free? And my last relationship was my freshman year and it was very unhealthy relationship. And that was
that kind of ruined it for me, but then I was able to kind of, there's that kind of like, I kind of miss freedom of like just not having to worry about anyone else. But then I also really care about my partner and we've learned so much about each other and helped each other a lot. And so it's been, it's been a very interesting experience and fun. Yeah.
Jennifer (14:07)
Yeah,
good. I'm happy that you're having a good relationship experience. So just in terms of your dynamics with your partner, just out of curiosity, because a lot of what I look at is attachment stuff and people do in relationships. Now you're early in this relationship, so a lot of the dynamics probably haven't emerged yet, but some of them have for sure. And that is in a relationship, there's a person who sort of pursues a connection.
Miette (14:13)
Yeah.
Jennifer (14:36)
And there's a person who tends to distance a bit because they aren't as in touch with their feelings. And that doesn't mean that's the case in your relationship. And I'm just curious if there's any dynamic that fits into how you each deal with your feelings and your needs in terms of communication. Does one pursue, does one withdraw, or is it pretty even?
Miette (14:58)
I think it's more on the even side. I definitely, in the first, when like I first said that I love you, I was the first one to say that. And, kind of before that, and then a little bit after that, we would like talk about it he's like, love's an action. And I was like, okay, like kind of just like sweeping it. Like it's not, it doesn't mean that much. It's just an action. And I was like, well.
For me, it means that you care about someone and love someone more than words can describe. And so it was kind of hard at first because it felt like I was more committed and it was something that I really tried not to rush because in the past I have. so it was kind of like, and he waited to say it for about like a week or two.
And then when he finally did, was kind of, was around, it was like a week before I left and to school. And we were kind of talking about, was talking about his worries and concerns and how he was stressed out. And we were kind of just talking about that. And then after he was just like, I really like, so amazing. And then he said that he loved me and I was like, are you?
Are you just saying that for shits and giggles? And I was like, and he was like, no, no, because I was kind of like, he's never going to say it because it's just an action to him. And yeah, and I was just, it was very kind of mind boggling at first.
Jennifer (16:28)
Right.
You were vulnerable first, which is scary. Yeah, when you put yourself out there and you don't know what's gonna come back.
Miette (16:35)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, so I think that's definitely it has been and then I have noticed when I came back to school and we started long distance and we like we were talking about him coming to visit and you know he was saying he was going to book a flight and it took him like two weeks, two, three weeks and
Jennifer (16:44)
Yeah.
Miette (17:08)
I saw had like past relationship issues of trust, of kind of promising and saying that they're going to do something and then not actually doing it. And so that became a big stressor for me because I started to really question like, you know, is he actually as committed as he says he is? And am I, you know, it was really hard for me the first few weeks of
getting over my insecurities and my trust issues of, you know, if he went out to the bar, I'd feel sick because I was like, he's going to do something. And so I really had to work hard to remind myself, like, you can't just think of the worst case scenario, it's not fair. And then to see, go ahead.
Jennifer (17:48)
Hmm.
Yeah. Did
you talk to him about your feelings?
Miette (18:02)
Yeah, yeah. And I did say, you know, when he was picking, you he'd go and hang out with his friends and then he'd be like, I'm going to do it tonight and wouldn't get to it. And on like the fourth time I was like, hey, like I'm seeing old patterns that are really making me feel uncomfortable and stressed out. And I told him why and he was very understanding, which was really helpful.
One thing about this relationship is he's, he'll actually, sometimes it's kind of like annoying because he'll be very truthful. He'll tell me the whole truth and sometimes I'm like, I actually didn't want to know the full truth, but I also am really glad.
Jennifer (18:47)
It sounds like there's a lot of honesty between the two of you. Like no, no game. Yeah.
Miette (18:51)
Yes, yeah, and I think that's something,
yeah, and that like going back to our parents, like our parents kind of have that same dynamic of, at least from what I've seen, of my mom had really bad trust issues from my father. And then I had those bad trust issues also from my father. But then, you know, the littlest thing, like a little white lie.
anything. It wasn't even a bad thing. My mom would get really mad and over like blow it out of proportion. At least I felt like and I didn't understand why because she didn't tell me till we actually went to therapy because it was ruining our relationship. And so kind of seeing and it seems like for him, his mom has had the same experience with his dad. And so that's kind of a
Jennifer (19:36)
Hmm.
Miette (19:47)
an interesting kind of thing of like, you know, you don't lie to my mom and it's kind of the same for him. Like, and so like, I'm all my friends, you could ask, I'm a horrible liar, I can't do it. even if I try, like, you'll know I'm lying. And I don't see that as a bad thing. But I think it's, it's definitely something that has been really helpful in our relationship with
Jennifer (20:03)
Right, right.
You
Miette (20:15)
reassurance and even when there's certain things that like make me feel uncomfortable like when he tells me something, a truth about it then sometimes I'm like that kind of made me feel icky but like also I asked you tell the full truth and you did and that is really big.
Jennifer (20:37)
Yeah, so that's a mixed thing. mean, it's, you're saying hearing the truth is more important than the momentary icky feelings. Because that helps you trust. Even if it might be uncomfortable for a little bit. Yeah. So, so interestingly, you know, you're 22 and people say, that's so young. I think I'm pretty sure my mom got married at 22. And so lots of people get married before that, or at, you know,
Miette (20:45)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jennifer (21:05)
So you might think, this is just a young person, but actually people have kids at 18, 16. I mean, you know, you're...
Miette (21:13)
Yeah,
I was just talking about it with one of my roommates. was like, because I saw that a girl that I know, she's a few years older, but she's having her second kid. And she just had her first kid like a year and a half ago. And I was like, my gosh. And then like so many people that I know who are around my age range that are either pregnant or getting married, which to me, I can't imagine thinking about.
Jennifer (21:39)
Yeah.
Miette (21:41)
right now, but yeah, it's a little, it's a new era kind of realizing and section in my life.
Jennifer (21:43)
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, people have different growth paths and different things to learn and different lessons. And, you know, you're focused right now on having a good relationship and what that feels like and what that looks like and not repeating what your parents did. Because I'm hearing through the lines that you don't want anything to do with what your parents did.
Miette (22:08)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, and I think, and that's something that, you know, I feel really fortunate that I've had very different parenting styles throughout my life. You know, my dad was the cool dad when it comes to like doing things and, you know, there were not a lot of like...
boundaries or like no, like you can't go and do that. Like it was very fun. And then my mom was the complete opposite. And then when my mom remarried when I was, I was very young. I don't really remember before. I was three and a half, four. So about a year after my parents divorced.
Jennifer (22:53)
How old were you? How old were you? Two things.
Okay. Yeah.
Miette (23:05)
And that, like, definitely having a father figure who was a good, like, obviously he had his issues, but having someone who was there for me, sometimes even more than my mom or my dad, was really helpful and a very special experience.
Jennifer (23:22)
Mm-hmm.
You
Miette (23:32)
I was very like, and I think it was also to have his point of view of their dynamic and what he knows about like my father and like, obviously he's married to my mom. And so that's been really special and feels like a privilege because I've been able to kind of, and in a lot of ways, I tell people how I feel like
the dynamic in my childhood of having these three parents has formed me to be the person I am today because I had so many different views and way of living and living your life and parenting that I could take from and then also realize, like, dad does this and mom says it's really horrible. But is it actually that horrible? Like
Jennifer (24:09)
Right.
Miette (24:29)
kind of questioning it instead of like when I got to school seeing parents who or seeing my friends parents who were still together and had healthy relationships and things that I was like, that's a little, that's a little off like, and just seeing that kind of dynamic and sure it made it difficult.
Jennifer (24:50)
So you're saying
the relationship with your stepfather has actually helped, has been healing. But then also getting perspective from other, friends and how their parents relate has been sort of opened up new ways of looking at things, that looking at relationships and what you like and what you don't like. Is that what you're?
Miette (25:04)
and
Yeah, yeah, kind
of like having, I guess I kind of take it like, I all around, like, I guess just in general with people, I, I don't like to base my thoughts about something on one side, because I saw that with my step siblings, their mother and father have a very unhealthy dynamic. And that was
took a toll on our childhood because there was a lot of hate and anxiety and frustration surrounded that relationship. And it caused a lot of arguments. But then I also was, you know, they're gonna be biased and everyone has a bias. And I think I really learned throughout their relationship and how it affected me of
I never wanted to judge something from one person's perspective.
Jennifer (26:09)
So you're saying this is your stepfather's ex-wife's relationship with her children, which are your step siblings. not, wasn't, was, it sounds like it was sort of hard to watch
Miette (26:16)
Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah,
it really affected our family dynamic. There was a lot of not being for them, not being able to trust like my, it took me till I was almost 17 for my stepbrother to trust me and like actually be able to talk to me about like, it was you didn't talk about their mom around.
because it was such a negative thing that it was, you know, obviously it's their mother, they love their mother. Like, no matter how, like, uncomfortable or traumatic it's been, whatever that is, like, you're gonna love them no matter what. And I have my own experience with that. And so that's something that they didn't want to constantly have someone.
Jennifer (27:16)
Right.
Miette (27:26)
bashing on their mother. And so it took a while for them to be able to talk to me or and kind of have that connection of like, I'm not going to go and rat you out to the parents, you know, like
Jennifer (27:28)
Right, right.
So
they could actually talk to you about their lives and their experience without feeling like you were going to do something that meant they had to protect their mother from you. So in other words, they were in protect mother mode. And until they knew that you weren't going to, know, if they told you, mom did this, or I felt this, they didn't want to hear you attack their mother. And until they felt like you would just listen and listen to their perspective, they weren't really willing to open up. Is that sort of right?
Miette (27:55)
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yes. Yeah. And so I think throughout that of hearing, like, I've only had a few interactions with their mom, and they've been very brief. And but having their perspective of both sides, and obviously, that's going to be biased too. But even just having that, like, really made me realize that like no one
Jennifer (28:12)
Yeah.
over.
Miette (28:38)
not one person is right. Like, they're both gonna have...
Jennifer (28:44)
a way of seeing things and it's interesting because what you're talking about is the complexity of blended families. I mean, you grew up in a very, very complex situation because you have a stepdad, have a mom and a dad who are not together, a mom and a stepdad who are together. And then you have step siblings who have a mom who used to be married to your stepdad. I mean, it's, you can hear the.
Miette (28:46)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Jennifer (29:12)
complexity that you've had to navigate through to sort of start finding, well, who am I in all this?
Miette (29:18)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's definitely, it's been like helpful and also not helpful. But it definitely makes me analyze people in a way of like, I'm the kind of person in the class who kind of sits and listens and doesn't do a lot of talking.
that I kind of I feel like I do that just in life in general. Like, I mean, I can definitely be talkative and I love talking. But I also love analyzing and yeah, yeah. Yes, yeah.
Jennifer (29:54)
You're an observer, you like to observe and figure out what's going on it sounds like. Yeah. So let
me just ask you, we've talked all over the place about all kinds of interesting things, what is your, what are you yearning for? Like, what do you, what is your ultimate love goal?
Miette (30:12)
One thing that I am very sure of and have really been able to think about that I haven't in the past is if I have kids, what I want as a father figure for them. So having someone who I guess no matter what is gonna love and put their kids first.
Jennifer (30:28)
awesome
Right.
So you're not just going to get swept away for some someone who you fall in love with if he's not going to be a good father.
Miette (30:47)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then also trust, like trust is a big thing. And also just having someone who's wanting to just like, you know, do fun things and adventures and keep life interesting. Like, I don't really want to be a stay at home mom who
You know, I want us to do...
be together in our relationship in a way that we're both very engaged with each other's life and but also have our own life. Yeah, I think and I think that's something that I'm still figuring out and understanding more and learning about every day. But yeah, it's definitely it's been
Jennifer (31:24)
8.
That's good.
Right, yeah.
Miette (31:42)
really interesting and I just am so fascinated. I'm a humanities major and so that major is kind of looking at people and questioning and just looking at things at a deeper level and this semester actually has been my first semester that I've had majority all humanities courses. And so that's
Jennifer (31:49)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Miette (32:09)
that's been really eye-opening to kind of also realize why I do certain things and feel more included in, because in a lot of ways I've been like, I feel like I'm the only one, which is silly of me, but like, feels like I'm the only one who has these questions and is analyzing everything on a deeper level than like, yeah, this is just my best friend, like, you know, and I think...
Jennifer (32:29)
.
Right, right, right.
Miette (32:39)
It's just, it's been a super awesome experience.
Jennifer (32:44)
I
have one more question before we stop and that is idea of emotional safety, which is connected to trust. I'm bringing it up because it's such an important thing in relationships. it like you're developing more emotional safety with your current partner, you are realizing you can say what you need to say and he will say what he needs to say and.
Nobody's gonna go, you know, squawking out the door, running away because you made a mistake or you upset them or something like that. And I'm just wondering about your thoughts about how emotional safety fits into your life right now.
Miette (33:14)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I think a big thing has been my this past summer has been really hard with my relationship with my dad and he has gotten to know my dad really well this summer and has spent a lot of time with me and him and in the beginning it was really hard because you know I'd have experiences with my dad that made me really sad or mad or frustrated.
and he'd kind of be like, you know, they were kind of, they saw him as like this cool, fun person. Like, why would you think he's horrible or like whatever? Like not that he's horrible, but like doing these things like doesn't sound that bad.
Jennifer (34:04)
Right, right. They
didn't see the bad part of how it affected you negatively.
Miette (34:09)
Exactly.
Yeah. And so that was really hard at first. And I in a way, I felt like kind of like I was on my own. And but then over time, I've, I've noticed that when I talk about these things, like if I have lunch or dinner with my dad, and, you know, he's like, How was your day? And I was like, I hadn't dinner with my dad and
It was really hard, like he wasn't, you know, whatever. He wasn't interacting the way I wanted or it was really frustrating. I didn't feel heard. Like even if he doesn't say much, I can tell that he's, he understands and is, is able to separate his experience with my father with my experience.
Jennifer (35:04)
Aha, so he
can listen and your experience even if it's not his experience, which is really important in a relationship. That's so important. And that feels good to you, it sounds like.
Miette (35:09)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah,
it does. It's really, it's relieving. It's relieving to not, because it's exhausting to have to constantly, you know, to update someone on my whole life or even just a year of what I've gone through. And even I forget about some things. But to have kind of that.
Jennifer (35:33)
Yeah.
Miette (35:37)
ability to talk to someone and just be able to say the things and have him understand but not have to ask questions or be like, I'm really sorry, like, just to have that kind of space where I can talk about it and feel listened to. Yeah. Yeah.
Jennifer (35:53)
Right, yeah, yeah, that's really nice and important. Well, yeah,
it's been really fun talking to you. And I'm wishing you the best in school and in your partnership. Yeah, and maybe we'll do this again sometime. Yeah, good.
Miette (36:00)
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah, be fun. Enjoy that.
Jennifer (36:15)
Thank you for joining me in this podcast. I hope you found it both interesting and informative. If you enjoyed it, please subscribe. can also find me on social media, usually under WeConcile. And a reminder that we have a relationship app called WeConcile to help you create your best relationship. And it's in both the Apple App Stores and the Google Play Stores.